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when your family doesnt do that...
cuz you dont live there.
i cant remember the last time i sat down at the dinner table with my family and had a nice meal.
i cant stand being at david's or kevin's in the evenings while my friends are online talking about dinner.
i dont really eat dinner anymore.
i cant.
its hard for me, and yet no one understands.
i like being at work more than david's and kevin's homes. there i dont have to worry about dinner.
or hearing what my friend's parents made.
i'm jealous...i admit it.
and it breaks my heart to not remember the last time i sat with my family and ate dinner.
or any meal for that matter...
- Mood:
drained
until i hopefully get to talk to my boyfriend over in vietnam!!
ekkkk!!
i miss him so much.
.......... I CANT WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Location:nanny job
- Mood:
nerdy
my kitten... so cute.
i'm in love, and i've only had her for an hour!!
- Location:nanny job
- Mood:
giddy
i'm getting a kitten from the ones vanessa found outside. her name is willow! i'm excited!! my first pet on my own!!
think i can do it?
i hope i can. know i can!
it's nice, she can keep me company now, since david is gone for who knows how long. i'm really looking forward to picking her up!!
ekkk!!
the 2nd time i've been happy about something since david's left....
YES! i'm on a roll!! the 3rd time turned out to be a flaw and i cant do it. f that. oh well, I GET TO TALK TO DAVID ON FRIDAY NIGHT!
ekkk!
i had to clean and move things around in the room i get at my nanny job. sigh, its been hard! but i got some pretty steller pet stuff!!
cant wait to show nessa how spoiled her kitty will be when i own it. mwahahah.
- Location:nanny job
- Mood:
busy
i just want to stop crying and be able to sleep...
IT SHOULDNT BE EFFECTING ME LIKE THIS!
he's only gone for a month. not like he's dead or anything.
:-[ i need him. ]-:
- Mood:
distressed
am i too attached?
- Location:nanny job
- Mood: depressed
i get to talk to him on friday after work.
courtney is happy about that. well, im gonna go lay down for a hour before i have to leave my dad's house for work.
- Location:dad's house
- Mood: depressed
so today wasnt that great. want to know why? i found out that the plans i had for saturday MIGHT NOT GO THROU!! ugh. it makes me sad. i dont want to do part of what i had planned knowing i cant do the rest, so i might just cancel the whole thing. a day to myself might be good, no? it wont be entirely to myself... i will see evonley and vanessa in the morning, but not the whole day like planned.
this bites... hard.
i couldn't sleep last night either. i doubt i will until my baby comes home. i miss him dear. thinking about it makes me cry. i've cried alot today already...fuck. selfishly, i want my baby home asap...but i know he needs to do this. maybe this month away from each other will be good? i dont know. i doubt it. and now im starting to feel sick. i blame jason, he came to work 2 days with something really rank. if i get it i will be pissed...majorly.
well, i am going to bed. maybe i will sleep and not listen to the radio all night again? maybe...
- Location:nanny job
- Mood: sad
so, david and i think we are ready to have a child... idk tho. he made the final choice, so i can blame him right? ahah but i'm excited!!! ekkk!!! i want a little boy, so i can name him andrew nhan...it will be so cute!! ekkkk!!
but david leaves for veitnam at 5 am, it is now almost 2. yikes. im not really tired, just sweaty and hungry. and i dont know how long david's gonna be gone...its sad!! i wish he wasnt leaving and his grandparents were healthy. but they will be in less pain when they pass. its sad, but hopeful at the same time. david will see them again in about 70 years or more, right?
im lookign at my msn weather thing, and it is 100 degrees in spokane right now. holy hell!! ekkk! its hot here. it got to 102 today in maple valley. i was like WTF?!?!
well, im gonna be getting to bed. love you all!
- Location:nanny job
- Mood: hot
- Music:none
